How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?
You hang up a bingo sign
PAT and MICK were playing *Bingo*. Pat kept looking over Micks shoulder saying, you’ve got that number mark it off, you’ve got that number mark it off. After putting up with this for some time Mick got annoyed and said, “why don’t you do your own sheet?” Pat replied “I can’t it’s full”
Bingo Card (rated pg)
This guy had a very attractive wife, who was always wanting clothes, jewelry, etc., but he was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond necklace. The guy asked: “Where did you get that from?” His wife replied: “I won it at bingo”. The next night she came home with a mink coat. The guy asked: “Where did you get that from?” His wife replied: “I won it at bingo.”
The next night she came home with a Mercedes Benz. The guy asked: “Where did you get that from?” His wife replied: “Look!! Don’t keep asking where I get my things from! Go upstairs and set my bath for me!!” His wife came upstairs to find a small amount of water in the tub. The wife asked: “How come you put so little water in the tub?” The guy replied: “I didn’t want to wet your bingo card.”
Q: How do you play Afganistan Bingo?
New York Bingo
A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. “A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd; no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. “A PRIEST, PLEASE!” the dying man says again.
Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age. “Mr. Policeman,” says the man, “I’m not a priest, I’m not even a Catholic, but for fifty years now I’m living behind St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I’m listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man.” The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay.He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice: B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72. . .”
Bingoing to come and see you for ages!
Blondes and Bingo
It was a Ladies Only Night in the All Blonde Bingo Hall. The night had been pretty boring, not one single person had a BINGO all night. The last game was up for grabs, with a huge bingo prize of $3,500 in the pot.
The game drags on and on, and nearly every blonde in the house had to be on for the big blackout. Finally, G-47 was called, but still no shouts of ‘Bingo’ were heard. The frustrated caller finally gets up and throws the Bingo Machine off the stage. All the girls were shocked and the caller says: “I’ve just called every darn one of these 75 balls out of this machine and nobody has a Bingo? Just what number are you ladies waiting for?” All together, 412 blonde ladies shouted: “FREE SPACE!”
Husband and wife playing bingo were competing to see who could call bingo the most. They were level pegging and both needed number *5* to win. 5 came up so they shared the win. Therefore even scoring ~ *Not so* wife exclaimed, I said it quicker!
Knock Knock 2
Bee Eye who?
B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and BINGO is my name-o
The Ten Commandments of Bingo
Thou shalt not sit in thy neighbors lucky seat.
Thou shalt not stare at thy neighbours card.
Thou shalt not take the Callers name in vain.
Thou shalt not call false “Bingo”.
Thou shalt not wish bad luck on thy neighbour.
Thou shalt not threaten to kill the “Caller”.
Thou shalt not steal thy husband’s money for Bingo (oh, alright you can do this one).
Thou shalt not brag about how much thou hast won.
Thou shalt not whine about how much thou hast lost.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s winnings.